Your choice of wine.
Ladies, this is “An unscientific analysis of your personality type based on your favorite wine”.
Champagne
You have a closet full of cashmere sweaters and shoes by Manolo Blahnik Carolyne, your favorite place in the world is Paris, and all your Instagram photos (cookies, beautiful papers and flowers) have a dreamy pink filter.
You like to think you’re a life of fun, but you’re usually in bed by 10.
Sauvignon Blanc
Sauvignon blanc inspires strong opinions of hatred or love, and so do you.
You are an icy blonde with a designer wardrobe and various gatherings every night.
In high school, you were the president of the debate team, the netball captain, and the head girl; you now have your own company.
Pinot Grigio
Pinot Grigio – known for its gentleness and ability to blend well with most meals – is a sure choice:
You are not the type of girl who orders a culinary tasting menu or will soon parachute.
Instead, you’re a city dweller who fills the adventure by reading books like Gone Girl and watching quarrels at The Real Housewives.
Chardonnay
The most sophisticated and complex white wine, chardonnay is a favorite with ladies who have lunch.
You have one (pet) Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, a child at Oxbridge and a framed photo of your dear friends William and Kate at the fireplace.
There is more..
Rosé
You are anywhere between the ages of 21 and 65, regularly on the French Riviera and you are known to overuse the word “chic”.
Nowhere would you rather spend a summer day than a polo match or on the beach.
Pinot Noir
Master Sommelier Madeline Triffon calls Pinot Noir “sex in a glass” – it’s romantic and intoxicating, just like you. With your smartness, looks and charm, you beat men and women equally.
It means “black pine,” referring to the shape in which the grape clusters grow, which is a shape resembling a pine cone. You’ve also seen the movie Sideways.
They say if you want to start drinking red wine, this is the way to go. Pinots aren’t as full-body as the rest of the reds, and this was the “it” red wine prior to Shiraz, which eventually gave way to Malbec.
If you’re a Pinot drinker, you value the opinion of others. Like the actual grape used to harvest the wine, you might be a bit stubborn.
Pinot Noirs are difficult to manufacture because they’re grown from grapes with thick skins. So I can safely assume you’ll take this article with a grain of salt.
Merlot
One word describes Merlot and the people who drink it: the basics. (Watch the movie Sideways for more evidence.)
Appreciate comfort over style every time – the ideal gift for a Merlot drink is a new pair of Ugg slippers – and you’re a fan of frames and pillows with inspirational phrases written on them.
Cabernet Sauvignon
A world traveler who appreciates the most beautiful things in life, you have a strong personality and talent that you can engage with at any time.
You went to Oxford ?, but you chose to fill your backpack over Thailand.
Your friends call you the most interesting woman in the world.
Malbec/Shiraz/Red Zinfandel
These are, collectively, the trending red wines over the past ten years. And that’s why you drink them. You’re conscious of the times and what’s going on. You want to be contemporary and like to keep up with what’s en vogue.
Petite Sirah
I don’t have time for your pretentious BS.
Boxed Wine
Good God, get a hold of yourself! Boxed wine is just atrocious. It’s the McDonald’s of wine, pre-“pink slime” debacle.
You never developed a taste for cheap beer, but you still need to get your drunk done and on a budget.
Either you’re a broke college student, or you messed up somewhere in life.
On the plus side, you have no shame. None. None whatsoever.
You couldn’t give a damn what others think of you. And those friends you have, drinking that fancy expensive stuff, are jealous of you for that.
They wish they could be as humble as you. You are what you are and you don’t need to pretend to be anything different.
Riesling
Riesling is my second favorite wine type. I know, it’s completely different than Cabernet. It’s because I love spicy food, and Riesling pairs well with a little kick, like Thai cuisine or a ninja midget.
Traditionally German, Riesling are sweet and vary in dryness; if this is your favorite type of wine, chances are you’ve got a sweet side as well. You’re probably not much of a fan of bitter tastes, in food or in life. You broke up with Zinfandel, and haven’t looked back. Subtle and soft, you’re reserved in personality.
Chianti
We get it. You’re Italian.
Cheap Champagne
Ugh. Brunch much? This atrocity is what’s in your endless mimosas. I’m sorry, were you under the impression the bar was mixing Crystale with your OJ? Spoiler alert: they most certainly are not!
Let me paint you a picture: three or four glasses go down quickly, the music is pumping, everybody’s laughing and having a great time. Bacon. Is. Everywhere. The next thing you know, you’re passed out on your couch, all Netflix and no chill, wishing someone would turn the lights off and the music down.
But then you realize, after endless water bottles and supplications to a higher being, eventually life goes on. The thunderous clouds in your head part, and like a champion, you get back up and do it all over again the next weekend.
Remember, wine is as old as the earliest civilizations.
It used to be the the drink of the privileged in ancient Sumeria and Egypt. It’s been argued to promote a long life and a healthy heart, and helps reduce the aging process of cells, keeping you young and strong.
Also, it goes great with dark chocolate and cheese. Who wouldn’t want to drink wine on that merit alone? And it might just say an awful, but awesome lot about you. Cheers!
